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I survived Camp NaNoWriMo- April 2015

Okay so this post is a little late. And by a little I mean A LOT. I finished Camp Nanowrimo April 30th, and here we are on June 10th. But better late than never, eh?

For a long time now I’ve had some thoughts/reflections on my first experience with Camp NaNo I wanted to get down. So here goes.

Starting out, as I detailed in my week one post here, I was having a lot of anxiety about my story not being good. (I’m proud to report now at nearly 50,000 words, I’ve been able to tell my internal editor to bug off loudly enough where this isn’t the case anymore).  So that wasn’t so great. What was great about that first week was the fact that even despite my doubts, I was able to stay on track with my word count. Great! I thought, I’ll write a blog post for each week chronicling my journey! It will be stressful but epic!

Clearly this did not happen.

By week two, I was crashing and burning. I would get up to write and only get a few hundred words in some days, while others I would ignore my writing schedule altogether and distract myself with other things. This caused a good deal of mental anguish for me, considering I am the type of writer who likes to stick religiously to a routine- once I deviate, even once, I start to feel like I’m slipping, and it only becomes easier to deviate again in the future, and again and again.

Tie that to the fact that towards the end of May, I was going to a Harry Potter convention in New Hampshire- MISTI-Con 2015, which turned out to be one of the best times ever and which I’ll have to chronicle in a later post. But even mid-April, convention nerves were setting in. On top of that I kept thinking of how I would continue to write during the convention (I didn’t, nor did I for most of May). Basically, it was just another excuse to stall, to wallow in the fact that I’d lost control of my plot and didn’t know where things were going.

Just when I thought I might give up on Camp NaNo for good, I realized I could change the word-count goal for the month. I switched from aiming for 40K to 30K. Okay, I thought, I can do this, surely. I took a couple days to plot instead of write, and suddenly I had more than a good idea of where everything was going. Then I went to change my goal again, and realized I couldn’t anymore! Realistically I knew I could still finish, with just a little catch-up. And I did! I felt a wild flash of triumph as I went from feeling sure I could lose to stepping over the finish line the last day of April.

Camp-Winner-2015-Web-Banner

Here are the pros and cons as I saw them after completing Camp NaNo:

Pro: It’s a well-needed kick in the pants, much like NaNo OG. Have a project you’ve been thinking about doing forever but never got around to? Now’s the time!

Pro: You can have whatever goal you want. This is especially helpful, I think, if you’re trying to finish a novel you’ve already started or edit one you’ve finished.

Pro: VALIDATION. It’s amazing just how typing in your wordcount and seeing that arrow creep closer to the bullseye in the target affects the mind 😉

Pro: The virtual write-ins were incredibly helpful near the end for me. I wish I’d done them all the way through. Something about writing with others present doing the same, even if it’s online, makes me more productive than I probably would have been alone nine times out of ten. Plus it’s just fun to hear what others are writing during the talking breaks 🙂

Con: I actually didn’t like the fact that you could edit your goals until a certain point (I think around the 20th?) I feel like knowing I could do this made me more lax about the whole thing.

Con: There was definitely less community. Granted, I didn’t take advantage of the forums, but there weren’t any official meetups like there are with NaNo proper. Also, my cabin this year around was a little dead so xD

As you can see, the pros are double the cons. NaNoWriMo in all its incarnations is really such a wonderful idea and I’m thankful to everyone who pitches in to make it possible each year.

Currently what was my April Camp novel is less than halfway done, and I can’t see finishing in June, though YES I will be working on it steadily. I am considering doing Camp NaNo in July and making my goal finishing whatever’s left of this book to finish by then. If anyone else did camp in April or is going to do it in July, let me know! What’re you working on?

{C}

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Camp NaNoWriMo: Week One

Just a week ago, I set off on a new writing challenge: Camp NaNoWriMo. For those who don’t know, Camp NaNo follows the same concept as NaNoWriMo in November, except 1) it’s held two times a year and is much less formal and on a smaller scale in terms of participants, and 2) unlike during NaNo proper, when the goal is pretty solidly to write 50K words within the month, in Camp NaNo, your goal can be whatever you want to make it. Whether you wanted to write 25K on a project you’ve already started, work on edited something you’ve finished, Camp NaNoWriMo is a great chance to kick your ass into just getting on with it already and making time! This year is my first year doing Camp NaNo, so I’m thinking I’ll write at least a couple blog posts through the course of it to detail my progress.

I decided to write 40,000 words (just a little under normal NaNo standards) in a new book, the third in the fledgling trilogy I’ve been working on, so that once I’m finished, I can edit them all in one go. 40K will equal out to about 10K words a week, which is doable but also requires dedication. When I’m working on a novel, I generally like to write about 10K/week to keep the world alive and urgent in my head, so it’s a pace I’ve done before and one I’m comfortable with.

But boy, did I ever not feel ready this time around. I wanted to get this slightly outlined, and it’s not at all outlined, I thought. Maybe I should wait until July’s camp session and do it then.

EXCUSES, EXCUSES, EXCUSES. Knowing myself, I wouldn’t have had anything more accomplished or felt any more ready had I waited until July. So, I woke up April 1st feeling like the biggest April fool ever, and stared at my computer screen after making a new document. Luckily, I’d left myself in a pretty good place to pick up after book 2, so I got my first 650 words super easy. I felt encouraged, and for once like what I had down was pretty good (so rare for a lot of us, I know). I was even excited for day 2.

Day 2 and 3 went well, but that was probably more due to the fact that I had work those first three days, and only got down around 500 words before working all day. It was when I hit my days off, and I had all this time, and a lot of catching up to do, that things got more difficult.

I would say the best part of NaNo so far, with one week gone and 10,000 words under my belt (can it be that much already??) is that the story hasn’t come too hard so far. I’ve tried plotting ahead a little, which is unusual for me, and at some point soon the story’s about to be a BITCH because I will hit a black hole of HOLY FUCK WHAT NOW, but at this very moment in time: we’re good. We’ve got material, and we’re slowly rolling on.

The worst part is that I honestly doubt everything about most of that 10,000 words. Am I getting across what I want to get across? Are my characters consistent and as alive as they were in the last two books? It’s a clusterfuck of self-doubt. I often think I’m repeating myself too much, using too many adjectives, putting in scenes I don’t need, etc. etc. And as someone who does  not like to do MAJOR editing if I can help it, this concerns me.  Basically my frame of mind here at quarter mast is this: I’m so shocked the words are coming to me this easy! Wait…are the words coming easy only because they’re shit? They’re shit, aren’t they? xD

A couple of things that have helped me write so far:

  • Giving myself little, mini time limits. Or, super-long word sprints. Word crawls, if you will. “I’m going to write 500 words FOR SURE in the next hour, no excuses” And then 500 the next, and the next, ad nauseum. I’m usually really good about enforcing this time of thing on myself, since realistically if you’re writing religiously, 500 words is so little to write in an hour…but I’ve always been on the slower side and I am always taking time out on twitter or to procrastinate, so I always JUST make the time limit and feel that little rush of exhilaration. If I have time left in the hour, I’ll get up, listen to music, get something to eat, anything really- just to take a short break as a reward.
  • THIS MUG.
    (lately I have been loving the NaNo mugs- I got one back in November too. I LOVE the design on this one, I bought it as soon as I saw it, in March, so that I’ll have it all month to write with :D)
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               glorious fuel receptacle

Is anyone else doing Camp NaNo this month? Maybe in July? I’d like to hear about whatever projects you have planned!

{C}

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Na-No-Wri-Mo, find out what it means to me!

Now that that terrible, cheese-drenched title is out of the way, I’d like to address the topic at hand: National Novel Writing Month, a month long writing frenzy in which people everywhere attempt to crank out a novel (or 50,000 words of one anyway) in one month. (site: www.nanowrimo.org )

I first found out about Nano in my freshman year of college, and in a spirit of overacheiverism which comes rarely to me, decided to give it a shot. Before that time, I had only written a few novellas, some short stories, and a lot of Harry Potter fanfiction.  My biggest work at that point was a trilogy of novellas which eventually became a three book novel, A Dewdrop Away.  I’d spent years building on the world of Arborand in my head, and along with this world-building there had come the vague idea for a sort of prequel book to the then-trilogy. Why not, I thought? I want to try to make something 50,000 words long!

When I say the idea was vague, I do mean vague. I cannot stress enough how vague it was. But I hadn’t started writing anything. I don’t know if I ever would have started if Nano hadn’t come up. Beforehand, I read some of the pep talks on the site and some of the helpful advice for the months before Nano, all of which served to really fire me up. I didn’t really heed any of this advice though. I was maybe two weeks away from November first when I decided I wanted to participate. I did not write any outlines or do any exercises. When the first came, I just started writing. I did, however, utilize some of the tricks I’d read about, like stuffing my novel with needless adjectives and extraneous words, all under the promise of I’ll Come Back and Edit this Later. It was a tough battle though- everything I’d previously written had gone very slow, under a regimen of ‘I’ll work on this when I feel inspired’ or ‘I don’t have time with school’. Around the legendary second week, I felt completely dried up, had no idea where my story was going, and thought constantly of quitting. But then one thing came to me.  Just when that had become exhausted, another came to me. And I made it through the entire book that way, just one bit at a time. At the end, I was astounded that my story actually made sense on the whole, that things came together almost magically at times and where my sweaty hands slipped on the wheel, the characters came in and took charge.

“Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.”  – E.L. Doctorow

That was 2007. The book I wrote was entitled Flight. It was originally meant to be a standalone prequel, but later I discovered it was actually the first in a trilogy (I really must like trilogies).  I did not come away from Nanowrimo having learned nothing: when I wrote Fall in 2010 and Overworld in 2011, though I did not participate in Nano, I obeyed what Nano had taught me were rules number one and two to success: Have goals, and ensure that you meet them no matter what. So I made my goal 10,000 words a week, and every week I ensured I made it to that goal by writing *something* every day, with whatever time I had that day. Writing every day also ensured that I stayed absorbed in the world, which helped inspire me to find that next leading action or scene.

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This

flight_final

becomes THIS

                                     

For a while, I believed I’d learned all I needed to learn from Nanowrimo, got all I wanted to get out of it. Then I went through a dry spell where I didn’t get anything of much length or import completed. For a good couple of years. I was getting desperate and depressed and just plain weird. And I thought, November is coming up! I should use Nano to get me going again! I had the rough draft of a novel I’d written in 11/12 which was set up for a sequel. It was perfect. My overwhelming response to this suggestion was No. There’s stuff I could be editing. I should edit things first.

That’s probably just an evasion tactic you’re using. Think how bad you’ll feel if you don’t do it and then you don’t get your editing done either.

 I’m terrified of jumping into a new novel. It’s been two years and I still don’t know where I was going with that story. Let’s not and say we did!

There was another reason I considered Nano in 2014: to explore an aspect of it I hadn’t experienced previously, away at college- the community.

The very idea gave me brain freeze. As someone with considerable social anxiety as well as driving-related anxiety, this sounded like a giant no. But still, that other part of me persisted:

You can use mapquest. You don’t have to take highways. No one else will be in the car with you.

After you actually meet them, you know it’s not as bad.

You will feel so good about yourself.

And that was something I hadn’t felt in a long time. It was something I needed.

When it got to October 31st, I was still having internal turmoil and had no idea whether I was doing Nanowrimo or not. I had created a new profile on the site, joined my region, even made a couple tentative forum posts, but I wouldn’t allow myself to say I’d decided. It was a very uncomfortable Halloween. I did not set an alarm for the 1st.  I slept in as a result, and when I got up I thought, Well, it’s too late anyway. I write best in the mornings.

Directly after having this thought, I took my laptop from its place on the floor beside my bed, propped it up on my lap and wrote some words. I wrote words until I hit 1,500, and then I stopped and logged my progress on the site. Accomplishment flooded through me. How was it that something so easy had taken so long to do? But I knew the answer. It was always this way with writing; I think it is for most writers. There was a kickoff meeting that day not too far from me, but I had another appointment elsewhere and used that as an excuse not to go. But I’d started writing.

By the end of Nanowrimo 2014, I had written something every single day even when it meant getting up at 4 a.m. to get in writing before an eleven hour work day. I had also attended two meet-ups. At the first one, I got there early and watched everyone else come in, set up and write for nearly half an hour before I got the courage to go over and join them. At the second, I was one of three people because there had been some mix-ups. At both I felt really spectacular by the end. There was something oddly binding about sitting together with a bunch of strangers and typing for a few hours. And magical: I probably got more writing done faster in those couple of meetups than I ever did alone. Part of it was due to the ten minute word sprints, which were a lot of fun (and which don’t work nearly as well without competition, though I’ve tried). But part of it was the knowledge that everyone in the room had the same goal as me. The sound of their fingers clicking the keys made my fingers feel like clicking even if they didn’t know what the hell they were clicking.

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This

Winner-2014-Square-Button

becomes THIS!

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So it is that I finished the second rough draft in what will hopefully be a trilogy (I told you about the trilogies) in early January this year. I no longer believe that Nano has nothing to offer me anymore…in fact, I believe it has a lot more to offer me. Next year, I plan to challenge myself to participate once again and to go to more meetups than the last, and I am also looking forward to participating in Camp Nanowrimo (https://campnanowrimo.org/sign_in) for the VERY first time this April or July (or both? heh). JOIN ME

So Nanowrimo? Has come to mean a lot to me in more than one way. I’ve participated twice, seven years apart, and learned two different sorts of lessons that have helped my writing to no end. Who would I recommend it to? Everyone. Whether you’re ‘serious’ about writing or not, everyone’s had a story idea at some point, and you can’t say no to a good healthy self-challenge 😉

Take care and see you next week!

~ C

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